Raw Emotions - Update

Back from Chicago...feeling overwhelmed as usual. We had a very good visit this week, Eli did great with the neurologist and new therapist. We have a lot to do each day. The new therapy requires that I work with him 3 times a day, each session will take 30-60 minutes. At this point I'm trying to figure out how to fit this into our day. We are starting school next week so I have to squeeze it into our school day....this is where my feeling of being overwhelmed is coming from. There is so much to do each day with just Eli that I don't have enough time with my other two, plus trying to cook healthy meals and making Eli's meals at the same time. Ugh...

This post is being written over a few days. I watched a webinar today on the new therapy we are trying called Masgutova, the webinar was with the creator and when I asked her about Eli's condition and if this could really help him she said it would but she would need to talk to me privately because it would take a number of different things to work and we needed more time. She said his disorder is neurological as well as psychological so it would take a while to work and the work will be intense. Again Ugh... Here we stand with answers to help our son and I'm not sure we have the energy nor the resources to do it. Did I mention the creator of this therapy is in Poland? We have a therapist that we meet with in Highland Park, but these trips are taking it out on me and the family, especially my boys that are staying home.

"Successful mothers are not the ones who have never struggled. They are the ones who never give up despite their struggles." ~ Sharon Jaynes. I'm not giving up! I know that God will give me the resources and the energy I need to do this, but my feelings of being overwhelmed sometimes consume me. I hear friends say I'm superwoman, I'm very flattered, but I'm not...I wish I were maybe it would be easier.

A few weeks ago our pastor spoke about how God uses our circumstances to minister to others, I've heard this before but I never thought of it in terms of how Eli will use this to help others. Here is a child with such a deep rooted fear and yet at times I watch him pray in tears begging for God to take his fears away. I've watched his faith grow through this process and I'm so proud of him. He knows when he needs it go to God and he comes to Paul and I asking for us to pray with him when he needs to pray and ask for help. How many nine year olds do that? God has big plans for this boy and I can't wait to watch them unfold. I know God will use all of us to minister to others traveling this same road. Sometimes I just wish it were a shorter road!

Please forgive this raw, all emotions spilled out post. It's just a difficult time for me right now. Here are our prayer requests.
1. That this new therapy would work and that I would find the time to get it in our day.
2. That my anxiety would stay under control.
3. For Eli to be more open to trying new foods. We hit a little road block and trying new things has been difficult.
4. That God would continue to provide for us financially.
5. That God would use this to minister to others and that our hearts and minds will be open to His prompting.

Thanks so much for all your prayers!